Blended Confessionals: 15 things I learned from going to college at MIT

As many of you probably know, Damian and I both went to MIT (the Massachusetts Institute of Technology) for college. We did not know each other then and only met more than ten years after graduating, but the ‘tute holds a special place in both of our hearts. I thought I’d use that as a jumping point and go in a little different direction in today’s Blended Confessionals and make it a little more introspective about me.

I can’t believe it, but it’s been 15 years since we graduated! Time sure does fly. Sadly, one of the tradeoffs of going on this awesome long trip is that we had to miss our 15-year college reunion, but it really did get me thinking and reminiscing. MIT is a unique place, and definitely isn’t for everybody, but for me, it influenced and shaped so much of who I am today. By the way, how cute is college Jyoti with her little eyebrow ring?

15 lessons I learned from going to college at MIT

With all this reflection, I thought I’d write down 15 lessons I learned from my time in college at MIT, lessons that are still serving me today. I’m sure I learned more than 15 things, but here are the ones that are top of mind today!

1. How to prioritize and manage time

There’s a saying about going to college at MIT, that it’s like drinking from a firehose. And it’s absolutely true. At any one moment there are five things you could (and should) be doing, and you have to learn very quickly how to prioritize every day, almost down to the minute. I find myself using this skill in my life all the time, both professionally and personally.

2. Working smart and working fast

Because there is so much coming at you at the same time, for me the best way to succeed was to work smart and work fast. If I had a ten-minute pocket before class I would start on a problem set. These little pieces added up and by the end of the day I may be 25% done with the homework. This especially was helpful in business school when I could sneak in a little case reading without the usual ramp up or ramp down time that I saw some other people needed. And, it gave me some time to go out, as the below picture shows. I mean, how 90s is my outfit? Face blurred to protect the innocent.

3. Anyone can have a good idea, regardless of title or tenure

Ahh, this was one of my favorite things from MIT. Many of the professors insisted we address them by their first names, and undergraduate students were often included on scientific papers they helped to get published. I loved this attitude that you don’t have to have a fancy title to be smart or have a good idea, and it’s something I try to remember whenever managing down and up in my career.

4. Home is where my people are

I never studied abroad at MIT, I just didn’t have the desire. And being on this trip I realize even more why. I love my people. I love living around them, I love spending time with them, I love being able to drive to visit them (family). I never wanted to go away for a whole semester and miss time with roommates or hallmates, and at MIT I first learned how important that is to me. The below picture is me and some of my college girls celebrating my 21st.

5. It’s ok to have lots of intellectual interests

A lot of people go into MIT knowing exactly what they want to study and be. But me? At MIT I shuffled between 4 majors (but still graduated on time, woohoo!). I started in Chemistry, then went to Economics, then Math and then finally settled on Biology. I took classes in tons of different disciplines, including Mechanical Engineering, Computer Science and Photography. I just loved learning so many different things that it was hard to choose one. Being successful in many different areas made me comfortable and gave me strength when I was switching careers from medicine, to graphic design, to business.

6. I love to teach

While I was at MIT I was a TA for three different classes: Organic Chemistry (5.12), Biochemistry (5.07) and a Biotechnology course (7.37J). I always loved playing school with my sister and I loved all the aspects of teaching at MIT – creating and delivering a lecture, grading problem sets and exams, helping students, all of it. I carried this love in the years in between and now am so happy to be back teaching at Columbia University.

7. How much I value meritocracies

Another one of my favorite things at MIT was that the administration tried super hard to make it an intellectual meritocracy. There is no class rank and no valedictorian or salutatorian. Students are not admitted because of legacy or athletic ability. Classes aren’t graded on a curve but on an absolute (if 90% of the class doesn’t know enough to get more than a C, then 90% of the class gets a C or below). It reduced competition in an already stressful environment and increased collaboration. I loved this environment and wish it existed more in the professional world!

8. I don’t need alcohol to party

Fun fact, I barely drank my freshman year of college. I came into MIT super naïve and hadn’t drank before. I was nervous about it and most of my friends didn’t drink much, and we still had so much fun. I drank a little more the rest of the years, but alcohol was never the center of my “fun universe” and that still continues to today. Some of the most fun times I had were actually late nights in lab, when we had gotten so delirious and were just laughing at anything and everything together. Those are the moments I live for, and more often than not, they are not alcohol-fueled for me.

9. “It’s not cool to be lame”

Oh man, this quote. I said it in front of a bunch of fraternity and sorority presidents and I still cringe. But the intent behind it rings true. I find that often times in life people are scared to show they care about something, to be passionate about an activity, a company, a hobby, whatever. I learned at MIT that being passionate about things is a good thing and that it makes you who you are.

10. I enjoy and am good at public speaking

I had never thought of myself as a particularly good public speaker, until I took a class at MIT where we each had to give a powerpoint presentation in front the other 40 students. I was the first to go (that’s what happens when your last name starts with an A) and after I was done both the professor and fellow students came up to me to say they were impressed and didn’t know I could present like that. Well, I didn’t know either! I had enjoyed the rush of speaking in front of the class, and throughout MIT I found opportunities to do more of it. This one incident has given me so much confidence as a speaker and a leader, even 15 years later!

11. The prevalence of mental health issues

I’m not going to pretend that MIT has mental health issues figured out, because it doesn’t. Going to MIT is hard, especially for a college student population that is used to being the best at everything. MIT tried, having one long weekend a month, dubbed a “mental health holiday” and offering some mental health support, as well as a student-run and -operated hotline. I know some of these have been reduced or shut down in recent years, to the dismay of many, mine included, because it is so needed. Aside from the suicide rate, there is a lot of suffering that students go through, because of diagnosed and undiagnosed mental health issues, which are often exacerbated by the stressful environment. I am grateful for this exposure (though I wish no one had to go through it), because it served as the foundation of understanding when I started exploring my mental health issues many (too many) years later.

12. My body has limits

Related to the above, I pushed myself too hard at MIT. My first term senior year, because of the changing majors, I was taking 7 classes, doing a research project (UROP) and TA-ing a class. My sleep suffered, my eating habits suffered and my health suffered so much that I ended up having to be admitted to MIT’s medical center. I was exhausted and had to be on an IV there for two days. As much as I wanted to do all the things, there is a limit and this was my first lesson in listening to my body to know when I am approaching that limit.

13. I can do it

I struggled a lot during my first semester at MIT. And I struggled a lot during a lot of semesters at MIT. I even got a D in one class (shocking I know). But, through the struggle I pushed through, I learned, I succeeded and eventually I thrived. It wasn’t easy but it taught me to rely on and trust myself, always.

14. I will stand up for myself

I remember taking Organic Chemistry (5.12) and getting the first problem set and I couldn’t even understand what the first question was asking me to do. I went to see my Professor and he literally said to me “well, maybe MIT just isn’t the right place for you right now.” I was, of course, shocked and mad, and I ended up figuring it out. And eventually, as you learned above, I became a TA for that very same course my junior year of college, working with the exact same Professor. About a week into TA-ing I told him the story and was so proud telling it. He said he didn’t remember saying that to me but that he’s glad that it turned out this way. Nobody puts Jyoti in a corner!

15. Always be comfortable with who I am

Finally, the thing I tout the most about MIT, is how the students there are just comfortable with who they are. You spent the whole night programming the laundry machine? Cool. Super into wizards or magic or time travel? Cool. Want to go out in Boston and party? Cool. I learned so much from the people around me fully embracing who they were, even if they wanted to spend Saturday night in a lab, which would be laughed at in most places. I learned to be comfortable with myself, my geeky and dorky sides, and with my needs and wants. And that was probably the best lesson of all.

I’m so grateful for my time at MIT, and I know I wouldn’t be even close to the person I am today if I hadn’t gone to college there. And, to top it all off, it gave me one of the most amazing gifts in my life, my amazing husband!